In Memory

I know it has been a long time since I have been on here and there is so much to tell that it will take me several posts to catch up.  However, since this is Memorial Weekend, I really want to start with a special memoriam to two soldiers who were very important in my life.
The first is my daddy, William Walker "Billy" Murray.

Daddy was a Navy Radioman First Class in World War II stationed in Okinawa.  I have his scrapbook where he kept the newspaper clippings from the war.  I also have his uniforms,  a softball he found on the island of Okinawa along with pictures on the ship and with his buddies. 

Daddy died too young.....age 48...from a disease called cirrosis of the liver.  Those last few years were very difficult for momma and us kids.  I loved my daddy and just hated what he was putting himself and us through.  Our family enjoyed many wonderful, fun times when my brother, sister and I were young and that is the part I like to remember.

But I will always honor him as a hero of the war and a veteran who deserves recognition and appreciation for the freedoms we enjoy. 

Another war hero who deserves honor and respect is Cecil Wallace, Gary's dad.  Cecil was in the Marines and stationed in Guam and China.  I am so proud to have known these brave soldiers.

Cecil was one tough guy.  He worked in line construction most of his life...climbing poles..electrical work.   He broke his back, his hip, was electrocuted twice, had a bout of lung cancer and survived it all.  He was a quite a horseman, raising and breaking Quarter Horses.  It was very cool to watch him make a big, spirited stallion act like a puppy.  Cecil was also my step-dad and here's why.  I may have told this story before, but here it is again:

Momma was only 46 when Daddy died in 1971.  Now, I realize just how young that was to become a widow.  Then, I was 22 years old, B.J. was 19 and Karla was 18.  Mom was a Sales Associate at Sears and worked there until she retired.

It was 1976 and Gary and I had been married about 9 years, had all three kids and were living in a double wide mobile home.  Gary's dad had been divorced about a year and was working out of town all week and staying with us on the weekends.  One Sunday morning he came in for breakfast and told us he had a date last night.  We said..."with who?"  He answered, "your mom."  What??????  How????  He said that they had been "fixed up" by Harold and Sue.  Well, Dad worked with Harold and Sue was mom's hairdresser.  Mom and Cecil had actually only seen each other one or two times in our marriage and one of those times was at our wedding.  The other time was Mother's Day, after Daddy had died.  He and Gary's mom invited her to go with all of us out to dinner.  And now...here they were...DATING!!

Well, it was a very brief courtship and they went to Miami, Oklahoma one weekend in June, 1976 to get married.  It was very obvious that they loved each other and were very happy together.  Our kids loved being with Grandma and Grandpa....why wouldn't they?  The horses, swimming pool, being adored by two people they adored.  It was such a fun time....until.....1992.

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Roddy Merle Wallace was Gary's baby brother, 15 years younger than Gary.  He was 28 years old when he died.  He was 12 years old when Dad got full custody of him and he came to live with Mom and Dad.  He graduated from Willard High School, got married, had a little boy, Eric and was working for Asplundh Electric in Arkansas when he was killed on the job....electrocuted.  So sad, because all he ever wanted  do was linework...like his Dad.  We were all devastated when the folks got the call.  We couldn't believe it.  I think the whole ordeal took a toll on Mom and Dad.

After 18 years of an incredible marriage, combining his 6 kids and her 3 kids into one huge family, Mom died September 17, 1994 of pancreatic cancer and Dad died December 16, 1994 of cancer in his lymph nodes.  Our families lost our foundation, our roots...."the folks."  Where do we go for holidays, for cookouts, birthdays, Sunday lunch?  Who do we talk to about "stuff", play Triominos with, watch John Wayne movies with?

Time has eased the hurt somewhat, but I can't help but wish they could have enjoyed their "great grandkids" for a little while.  I still, after almost 17 years, want to call Momma and tell her something or ask her advice about something.   My Momma was very nearly perfect in my eyes and I loved her so much.

I didn't think anything could hurt as much as losing my Momma.....until Karis.....

Karis Rose Wallace was the daughter of our oldest son, Todd, and his wife Heather.  She was their first child.  We were all so excited for them and couldn't wait to meet their little girl.  However, at Heather's 39 week appointment, the doctor told them that there was no heartbeat.  I will never forget the look in their eyes as they told us that their little girl had died.  Todd cried....Heather just stared ahead, as if in a trance.  Then she still had to go to the hospital to be induced and deliver her baby.  That was such a long night in the waiting room for us and I can imagine it was even longer for Todd and Heather as she went through labor until she delivered Karis...stillborn.... the next morning.  I think that part of me wanted to believe that the doctor was wrong....that somehow when they brought her out she would start breathing....but she didn't.  Thankfully, their nurse, Paige, suggested they dress her up and take pictures.  They weren't sure about that, but now are so glad they did.  They planned a very sweet graveside service and appreciated all the love and support they received from family and friends.  They, in turn, have been a blessing to others who have had to go through a similar situation.  I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed them with a marriage that has grown stronger through this adversity and with three beautiful, healthy children.

Well, our family has lost many other precious members whom we loved....all of our grandparents, many aunts and uncles....but these are the ones who were closest to me and who my heart still aches for at times.  These are the graves that my sister, Karla, and I visit, put flowers on and remember............

In Loving Memory,

Donna